When Coaching Meets Healing: Arundhati's Story and the Line Between Coaching and Therapy
4/9/20253 min read
"Coaching supports growth. Therapy supports healing. Sometimes, a leader needs both."
Arundhati was the kind of leader most companies would proudly list in their annual report.
A senior executive in a Silicon Valley tech firm, she held an Ivy League MBA, had led teams across continents, and was being groomed for a CXO role. Her days were structured, strategic, and productive. Her evenings, less so. Recently, they had been hijacked by something she couldn't name.
She was born and raised in Kerala,South India in a quiet town framed by rivers and coconut trees. Her childhood was filled with movement and music . . learning Kathak from a neighborhood teacher, humming Lata Mangeshkar songs on the walk to school, sketching birds with charcoal on scrap paper. She painted. She read. She once rescued a baby sparrow from a gutter and nursed it back to health.
Her room smelled of jasmine and books. Her heart, even then, held ambition and softness in equal measure.
She went on to study engineering at IIT Kharagpur and earned her MBA from IIM Lucknow, where she met her college sweetheart. After working a few years in India, they moved to the U.S. . . chasing new opportunities, building careers, and eventually raising twin girls and a young son in California.
Nearly 2 decaded later when her parents moved in from India. . .a joyful, temporary arrangement on the surface . . .something quietly began to unravel.
Arundhati had always been high-functioning. A planner. A doer. A leader.
But lately, she found herself stuck. Projects she once thrived on became exhausting. Her mind wandered . . .not toward the future, but backward.
She couldn’t place it at first. But as the weeks passed, she realized something about her parents’ presence was triggering unresolved memories . . echoes of a childhood she thought she had long outgrown.
Around this time her company enrolled her in a high-potential executive development program, which included 24 coaching sessions over 12 months.
The coach was credentialied by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Together, they mapped clear goals: grow executive presence, identify leadership blind spots, prepare her for a CXO role.
Everything was on track. Until it wasn’t.
By session six, Arundhati began referencing her parents more frequently.
By session eight, she confessed:
“I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m 10 again, trying to earn their approval in every room I walk into.”
The coach listened. Held space. Gently explored how this dynamic was showing up in her leadership.
But the stories kept returning. Not just professional reflections . . .deep, emotional ones. By session eleven, Arundhati broke down.
She shared that she had been sexually molested by a close family member when she was around nine.
And that her parents . . .though loving in other ways . . .chose silence over action.
“They told me to forget it,” she whispered. “They said we couldn’t talk about it. That it would destroy the family.”
The coach listened with care. With depth. With presence.
But it was clear: they had moved from leadership coaching into trauma recovery.
Arundhati’s nervous system was no longer operating from the present. The proximity to her parents had reactivated trauma. Her body remembered, even if her mind had pushed it away for years.
The coach recognized that the original coaching goals . . .growth, performance, presence . . .had given way to emotional unravelling.
It wasn’t just about being distracted. Arundhati was in pain.
And while coaching can explore the past in service of the future, it cannot and should not hold space for trauma healing alone.
So the coach did what great coaches do.
✅ They affirmed Arundhati’s courage.
✅ They acknowledged and shared the pattern without any attachments
✅ They offered a gentle referral to a counsellor (aka Therapist)
Together, they pressed pause on the coaching engagement and co-created a path forward . . .with space for Arundhati to work with a trauma-informed therapist.
This is the integrity of coaching.
Knowing when not to hold on.
According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF):
“Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
According to the American Psychological Association:
“Therapy refers to any psychological service provided by a trained professional that primarily uses forms of communication and interaction to assess, diagnose, and treat dysfunctional emotional reactions, ways of thinking, and behavior patterns.”
In simpler words:
Coaching is for growth.
Therapy is for healing.
And sometimes, both are needed by the same person.
Arundhati did return to coaching. Infact she was leveraging both forms of support simulatenously while preparing for her transition to her CXO challenge.
Curious about when to choose a mentor and when a coach ? Read along.
For a list of useful resources on coaching, leadership and how to be your best possible version checkout Fedrick's blog.
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